I love you
for so many reasons
Like no other
In my life
I’ve never been
So much in love
As I am with you
And I wish
Oh how I wish
That it didn’t end this way
I trusted my heart in your hands
I truly thought
That you were a gift
I wasn’t going to lose
I wanted forever to be ours
A fairytale romance
That almost became real
I don’t know if I will ever know a love
Like what we had
I cry still
At the thought of you
I want the pain to go away
Never have I wanted something
Or someone
Like I do..you
Why did u not love me enough?
Why did you hurt me?
Why didn’t you need me?
Why did you leave?
Were you really ever mine?
So many questions and hurt to be shared
Any answers
never to be received
I fear that no man
Will ever give me what you did
Yet I know I deserve more
I deserve what you didn’t give me
Bitterness clouds my judgement
So easy to get over you
By releasing my anger
But in my broken heart
That still cries for you
Holds the good times
Not the bad
Embraces the highs
Not the sad
I will always be in love with you
Adore you always…I will
You are only now a memory
Love you forever…ever still

I have to say that I adore what London Summer Jam is all about. Many of us share the love for music and many of us have either participated in or have watched musicians jam together, creating an experience for our souls to remember for a lifetime. Every time special, every one a blessing. There’s nothing like it if you love music. Whether its a whole group of people or just a few, its quite memorable…never wanting it to end. And when its at an outdoor venue? Need I say more? I encourage every music lover out there who can to follow this wonderful event or take part in it, you will create memories for a lifetime! Pls go visit http://londonsummerjam.com to learn more (twitter @londonsummerjam) and checkout their blog written weekly by a dear friend of mine Stephanie http://www.wikifestivals.com/blog/1056 (Twitter @WordswithSteph).

**************

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember music being in my life….and it’s all because of my amazing parents. Dad playing along on his electric guitar in the livingroom to his fav albums to the likes of Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison – classic country and 50′s 60′s music. He also played his banjo and acoustic 6-string. Mom played the piano, she taught herself how to play by “ear” …so beautifully.

I love the memories I have of when they would both jam together just for fun, never a set list planned, never a song rehearsed…just enjoying playing music and enjoying the moment. My dad has a huge family, originally 16 kids to be exact and in the old days we often all got together, huge as we were, to eat, drink and have jam sessions. I find myself thinking more about those days the last few weeks because sadly my dad’s two older brothers, Doug and Jerry recently passed away. They shared my love for music and family and also cherished those get-togethers. I smile proudly as I remember watching my uncle Doug play his banjo with ease, my dad on his guitar, my mom on keyboards. The rest of us playing the spoons off of our knees, dancing, laughing and singing along to whatever song someone wanted to play…priceless!! And music has always been and continues to be a part of my life and one of my true passions.

My son is in his early twenties now and has recently started to learn the acoustic as well after watching and listening to me play and I’m so glad he did….proud mom. So now my parents and myself and my son try to jam together as often as we can. I can only say its a beautiful feeling when we do…to be sharing what you love with the people you love…precious. To see how we all get mesmerized by each other, time really does stop, nothing else exists..something I look forward to each time.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally started to learn to play the acoustic guitar. I owe it all to a dear friend of mine from “across the pond” who knew my dream to learn to play. They surprised me one day when they they told me a gift was coming my way, a late bday present. This huge tall box arrived, my heart racing as I opened it and low and behold…there before me stood a beautiful new Jasmine 6-string acoustic guitar ! I got so emotionally and knew then my friend was making my dream come true and I haven’t looked back since. Its taken a lot of patience which God knows I wasn’t born with (ha ha) and time but I didn’t give up. I enjoy playing along to Eagles and Roy Orbison tunes, and many others, getting lost in the music. I still have so much to learn but sincerely that is the best part of this new journey in my life.

As I end my personal story that I’m sharing with you, I leave you with this….. Life is too short. If you love music, then experience as many “live” performances as you can, learn to play an instrument if you’ve always wanted to. I am in my late forties, and I only started learning acoustic guitar a couple of years ago, I am living proof that anything is possible. That you have to go thru your bucketlist and start checking things off, you won’t regret it !! xxxxx

YOU

- are my rock
- are my weakness
- make me laugh
- make me smile when noone can
- make me feel safe & loved
- protect me from all harm
- know me better than I know myself
- are always in my thoughts and dreams
- mean the world to me
- told me you loved me and it warmed my heart
- know my thoughts, weaknesses and strengths
- give me strength and corage to believe in myself and chase my dreams
- lovingly take on my problems as your own
- put me on the highest pedestal, so close I could touch the clouds
- make me whole
- always know what to say and know when I need to hear it
- fill in the blanks when I’m at a loss of my own words

………. I should have told you.

I CANNOT

- kiss your warm lips or hold you tight and it breaks my heart
- be apart from you for too long without missing your loving words
- deny how I feel sometimes
- understand why your heart chose mine
- let go of what we have, losing you would destroy me
- show you or tell you how I really feel or else I’d lose you

………. I should have told you.

I WILL

- be your friend when you need someone to lean on
- be that person who will always make things “right” when noone else can
- cherish our friendship like precious glass
- be there if you call my name, no matter how far
- tell you “I love you” often especially when needed most
- always know when you’re happy or sad, even when you can’t see it yourself
- walk right beside you on your journey in life, our footprints becoming “one” in the sand
- always love you with my entire soul, you will forever be a part of me

……… I should have told you.

The old man’s eyes
They could not lie
All his hardships
Sewn into his skin
That he was forced to wear
For so many years
Faith lost
Happiness denied
Became the reason
For his precious tears

He came to accept his fate
Victim to the elements
Victim to society
Victim to economy
A family that won’t talk to him
They’re ashamed at the man
He has become

He can’t remember
The last time he had a hot shower
Or slept in a clean warm bed
Or hugged his children
Or tell them he loved them
He had everything
Now he has nothing
A story only he can share

People walk by
And give him that “look”
That was all too familiar
Trying not to make eye contact

He relied on odd scraps
Left in the alley
Behind restaurants in the east end of town
And the odd time that someone
On the streets
Would throw him a coin or two
He’d get a hot coffee
At the corner variety store

He was walking his usual route
On a friday night
It had become his special place
He made sure he was never followed
The smells from the restaurant
Always so fragnant and inviting

He approached the garbage bin
Being careful
Not to make noise
He opened the bin ever so gently
When he heard the back door open
There..
In the doorway
Was a little boy
Couldn’t have been more
Than 9 yrs old
His mother lovingly
Standing behind him
The young boy
Looked scared and uncertain
As he slowly took 2 steps
Down the small cement staircase…
He stopped
Extended his arms out
Revealing a small cardboard box
That he held in his precious hands
He smiled at the old man
Like only an innocent child can
And said…
“Mister? My name is bobby. I told my mom how I always see you come around. My mom wanted me to give you something, its some leftovers from our dinner tonight, steak, potatoes and her delicious gravy. Its okay..she made lots. Pls take it”

The little boy placed the box on the ground
And went to stand by his mom
Looked at the man and smiled
The old man
Wiped a tear from his eye…
“Thank you” he said “for your kindness to me, I’m so grateful. May God bless you and your family”
He picked up the box
Tipped his raggedy old hat
Smiled at his new angels
And started back
To the deserted building he called “home”

That night, God was smiling down on that little boy, his mother and that old man, and every Friday night after that for a very long time

I lay myself down
On a soft patch of grass
In a field not far from home
Where as a child
I remember innocent dreams
I smile
Not feeling alone

Its you I return to
A place I can go
The wisdom of the trees
A place of my own
My dreams
And my questions
Hopefully answered
One day in time
With a smile from “above”
This precious field of mine

I’ve watched people
Come and go into my life
Each taking
A piece of my heart
I try to stay strong
Put up that high wall
Then watch it
Start falling apart

For its hard to be me
Its hard to feel free
When I don’t know who I am
I don’t think I’m ready
Please give me the strength
Let my heart
Be vulnerable again

Give me someone to share
My dreams, hopes and fears
Shelter me from pain
My soft place to fall
I have so much to give
This true love of mine
Is that too much to ask?
Is that having it all?

So its you I return to
A place I can go
The wisdom of the trees
A place of my own
My dreams
And my questions
Lovingly answered
One day in time
With a smile from “above”
This precious field of mine

This poem is from my heart. When I was a young girl until early teens, there was a quiet place in an abandoned field near my home that I found. It was quiet, it was a place I went to collect my thoughts and dream as all young girls do. Whenever I return there, I feel like I am still that young girl…priceless, staring up at the sky, the stars and shutting the world out. Everyone needs that “place” and this poem celebrates the freedom it gave me to “dream” and “hope”

There’s no easy way
To let go of what we love
Life goes on
A sad but honest truth
Nobody understands
I’m all alone
In a crowded room
Why do I still feel noone’s here
I turn the tv on
Just to hear someone else’s voice
A sense of empty comfort
The pain in my heart
Oh I hide it well
Nights are the loneliest times
The quietness
The forgotten souls
Whose memories come alive
When everything is still and vulnerable
I don’t have the courage
To accept what is real
That I’ll never hear your voice again
How you laughed at the little things I said
Made sure I cherished life
When all along you kept your secret
That it was soon “your time”
I could be myself around you
I miss you dearly
Suddenly taken away
I’ll remember the good times
How I was blessed
That you were brought back into my life
A reminder to live each day
As best we can
Because we’re here
Not forever
I feel you’re still with me
As one of my angels
To comfort me
Guide me
You’re still my biggest fan
When I seem to disappoint
The ones that love me
Sometimes I wish I was in that better place
Where there’s no judgement
No hurt
No loneliness
Only love
I’m glad I told you “I love you”
As often as I could
Your memory lives on
Forever in my heart
We’ll be together one day
And I know you’ll wait for me
With loving embrace

Dedicated to my loving cousin who was suddenly taken from us, he is now one of God’s favourite angels, rest in peace my dear xxx miss you dearly

You touch my heart
You hold my hand
You wipe my tears
Together we stand

You make me smile
You light up my day
You guard my soul
Together we stay

You let me be me
You show me the way
You erase my fears
Together today

You are my angel
You are my rock
You speak the truth
Together we embark

You make me laugh
You catch me a star
You are a true gift
Together by far

You are the one
You call me friend
You believe in me
Together to the end

I lean on you
You lean on me
Forever in time
Friends….for eternity

My dear friend Mike Taylor, BRILLIANT singer/guitarist/songwriter from South Africa made this poem into a beautiful song, so humbled. He did all the tracks for this song, his daughter sang lead vocal, Mike added harmony…love it…he has it posted currently on his reverbnation site http://reverbnation.com/mikestaylor “Together”

A mother’s love is pure and honest
Its full of nurturing, protection
Guidance and strength
There are times when they
Often have to hide their own fears
Fear of not doing or saying the right thing
Fear of being responsible
For another human being
When they at times
Can’t even take care of themselves
Fear for their child’s safety
Both in their home and in the outside world
I am a mother of a grown young man
Whom I can proudly say
Is one of the loves of my life
I love him unconditionally
I am here when he needs me..always
Its not an easy job
Being a mother
But I have to say
That it is the most rewarding one
To hold that little child in your arms
When they are first born
Fragile, beautiful and innocent
Ready to begin their journey
That God has given them
Life’s little miracle
Its unexplainable
And we all do our best as mothers
While raising them
To not repeat the same mistakes
That we feel our own mothers made
Throughout our childhood and adult life
No one is perfect
But we hope to be perfect
In our children’s eyes
For even though they disappoint us sometimes
And we disappoint them
Its that unconditional love
That undeniable bond
That forever holds a mother and a child
Together until they are taken from this earth
Your children pull at your heartstrings
Pull at your purse strings
And test your patience
Until you thought nothing remained
Being a mother
Teaches you forgiveness
Makes you proud
When you see them accomplish their dreams
And conquer their fears
The day they get their driving license
Their first girlfriend or boyfriend
The first time they ride their bike
Without you holding onto the seat
The look on their face as they realize
They are riding it all by themselves
For the very first time…priceless
The day they graduate
And start their own journey
So young, still no vulnerable
So in-experienced
But you give them guidance
Expect them to learn from their own mistakes
And tell them
That you are always there when they’ll need you
You’re their biggest fan
You’re their soft place to fall
When you think of your child
When they’re not around
It won’t take much before a happy tear
Rolls down your cheek
And you thank God
For giving you
Such a precious gift
The best gift of all
The gift of life
The gift of a child
The gift of motherhood

Our yearly family BBQ
is supposed to be today
Aunts, uncles, crazy cousins
Even Billy, who always gets his own way

I’m making my special dessert
That daddy says only I can
For its filled with love and tenderness
And ingredients from our glorious land

First I get some mud
From the garden that daddy and God grew
And place it in the old glass dish
That gramma gave, a nice pretty blue

Next come the stones
That I found behind the shed
Some have fossils in them
I think from prehistoric men

Mom said she needed the strawberries
To top her cream-filled cake
But that’s alright, no despair
I’ll put green grass in their place

To give it some flair, I added some sand
And sprinkled it all over top
I truly think this is my best one yet
Maybe even sell it at the corner shop

I really should have a talk with my mom
Cause I’m so not impressed
The gummy worms are in her cake too
I have to use real worms instead

And finally for the piece de resistance
That’s french you know, so I hear
My beautiful dandelions displayed in the center
I’m sure to win pie of the year!

I walk my pie very carefully to the table
Beside the BBQ, over there
Where all of moms cakes and things
Deliciously sit in the brisk autumn air

I place my sign, so everyone knows
Who made this breathtaking creation
It reads “Cindylou’s Dandelion Pie”
Its free, and plenty for the taking

Mom came out, said “Beautiful job my dear!”
She took my hand as I skipped along side her
This baking stuff is easy I thought
I’m going to make a souffle next year!

You were given to me
As a gift from above
You’ve showered me with pride
And unconditional love

It is you that I go to
For guidance and strength
You taught me to work hard
At whatever I attempt

When I start to show doubt
You remind me I can
For life is a journey
Beside me you stand

Mistakes, I’ve made many
But I own them as mine
That’s the only way to learn
You’ve told me many times

When I rode my first bike
At the school down the street
It was you who were there
To place me on my feet

You’ve worked so hard
To give me what I deserve
But the most precious thing
You gave, was your word

You promised to love me
To always be there
And wipe away my tears
No other dad compares

When you are around
Everything is right
The memories I keep
Tucking me in each night
You’d smile at me lovingly
And wished for sweet dreams
Pulled up my blankets tight
To keep away my fears

To you, I’m your princess
To me, you’re my star
Full of patience and wisdom
The warmth of your kind heart

Your support and your love
Is undeniably true
Forever…Daddy’s Little Girl
Forever…I will love you!