A GOOD REASON

Written by Cindylou601
Copyright 2010

The afternoon surrendered to night
Minutes seems like hours
Almost worse than what’s going on in my mind

He must be busy at work
Maybe tied up in traffic
Had an unexpected meeting and just forgot to call
There will be a good reason
Just don’t worry
You always do this to yourself
Every time he’s late
But there’s always a good reason…always

I’ll try his cell one more time
An unfamiliar voice answers this time
Sounds like she just woke up
Worry turns to fear
The woman on the other end calls out again
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
I felt like yelling “ya its his wife, who the hell are you?!!”
Terrified and speechless
I just hang up the phone
Now nervousness becomes uncontrollable shaking
This is not what I’m thinking
This is Not what I’m thinking

It’s almost midnight
There’s no way I can go to work today
I feel it in my gut
That this too real
Reasons now seen as lies
Still no word
Still not home
Hours pass
I’m awoken by a key turning the front door lock
Do I race down and confront him?
I choose to lay there
And pretend to be asleep
This is it
My stomach turning
Full of uncertainty

He walks into the room
Quietly so as not to awake me
Is he thankful to be home?
Or just glad to see his bed?
Cunningly thinking of his excuse
If I wake up
Of why he is late
And why he just wants to go to sleep

It’s all so clear to me now
I’m too smart for this
Why didn’t I see the signs?
Was I too much in love?
Is there such a thing?
Is it something I did or didn’t do?
I should’ve shown my love more
But he was never here
Not like before
When the passion was hot and undeniable
I’m just confused
And hurt
I can’t let him take my heart like this
Damn him
For turning my life upside down
In one split second

It’s now morning
Blessed with a new day
New adventures
He wakes up
Works his way downstairs
For that first cup of delicious coffee
He knows that his wife has lovingly left for him
Every morning without fault
She’s good that way
The coffee machine isn’t even on
The morning paper isn’t even laid out for him
He sits down at the kitchen table
Still wiping sleep from his eyes
As he notices something
Under the pepper shaker
another love note?
She must be gone out early to work
Probably needs him to pick up something on the way home tonight
he thinks with a smile
Grabbing his glasses
He begins……

“Jeff, last night changed my life and I owe it all to you.
I want to thank you so much
There was a good reason
Why when I called you last night
That another woman answered your cell
I cried for hours
Before I finally fell asleep
And then I thought to myself
You are not worth arboring the pain
So many unanswered questions
God must have brought you into my life
For a good reason
A special reason
To teach me strength and wisdom
When someone has wronged me
To know what true love
Is suppose to feel like
To realize what I deserve in a man
To find courage again
To keep loving myself
To not let anyone’s actions define me
To no matter what..remember that one falls
But a true hero gets right back up again
You taught me everything
But I realized you gave me nothing
I will not let you get the better of me
I’m not sticking around
For more of your lies
You don’t deserve
To see me one last time
To feel my embrace
To receive my love
So I thank you…
Its time to start my new journey
And one day
I will find that precious soul
Who no matter what
Will be my soft place to fall
Will encourage me
Believe in me
Make me laugh
Make me smile
I will trust again
I can say I did love you
But that has vanished
Now placed on a shelf
In my heart for another man one day
Its time for me to get on with my life
For God has given me good reason
And a second chance
To find what I deserve

….The one that got away

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